


Memories of Mine

by oceankat8



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, Why do I keep writing sad things?!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-26 06:16:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2641205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceankat8/pseuds/oceankat8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows before disappearing from in front of him and Castiel felt a heavy stone settle in the pit of his stomach, solid, weighing him down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories of Mine

Gabriel wiggled his eyebrows before disappearing from in front of him and Castiel felt a heavy stone settle in the pit of his stomach, solid, weighing him down. 

He was dead. His older brother. The one who taught him to fly, who took him under his wing. The only one who saw what a failure he was, how different, and didn't just abandon him from the start. 

Back before Naomi, before the brainwashing and reprogramming. He had started to remember...youth. A period of time before he was a soldier, when he was only a fledgling that had just started to speak his first enochian. He was different then too. Right from the very start. Wild, unwilling to listen, unruly compared to his sisters and brothers.

That was why Gabriel had taken such a liking to him. Had taken him under his wings. He had taught Castiel to be strong, one of the strongest. Until Lucifer fell and Gabriel disappeared and the reprogramming started and the memories were all hidden away from him, tucked under orders and commands, to keep him from rebelling. 

But he rebelled anyways. For Dean.

The first time Gabriel died, Castiel didn't remember. Gabriel was just another angel, that died another death. Sad, but necessary. But now, now Castiel remembered bits and pieces. Warm wings holding him up and the warmth of his brother's grace, laughter that was so strong it echoed through the clouds...

He was starting to remember so many things,  _important things_ , but Gabriel was already dead and there was nothing he could do.

Until he saw him again. His brother, right in front of him, wanting to help, to lead, as he should have so long ago. But it was a trick. A cruel hoax, played on him by none other than Metatron.

He had hoped though. That maybe, some part of the lie was based in truth. That some part of Gabriel could still exist, was still alive. But no, the figment vanished and Castiel was alone.

His brother was dead and there was nothing he could say to him, nothing he could do. He wished so desperately to apologize. For his lack of recognition at the time, for how he treated him, like a stranger, just another run away angel. He understood now, why the other angel looked so hurt before sending him away. Castiel had spat out his name in contempt, rather than with the respect he was due.

He wished he had known. So he may have helped in _some_ way,  _any_ way. Perhaps he could have... no. He would have at least properly mourned his death, he deserved that. Then again, they all deserved that.

Castiel closed his eyes. _Goodbye brother._  


End file.
